You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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