My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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