So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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