You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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