You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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