Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize