After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
