Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
