You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
