i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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