Where did you get a picture of my penis
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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