Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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