I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
