just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
