he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
