Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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