Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
