if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize