I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Randomize
