please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I need to calm my uterus...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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