I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
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