no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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