before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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