He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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