I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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