Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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