At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
