Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
