If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I touched a dick in church today
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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