I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize