I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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