So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
