at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
