Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I smell like Dick and happiness
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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