apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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