Pappa wants mamma naked
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
