I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
