Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
no. you can't hotbox the world.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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