He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
