I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
