I wish I could punch you in the face.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize