Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
