My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
