i permit you to call me
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
