my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
