i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
