So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
