just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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