Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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