Tell her she can't have a vagina
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
