Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
