HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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