babies were throwing up all over the place
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
