why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
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Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
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Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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