When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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