wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
