you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
