You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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