NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
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There's a naked man in my car right now.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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