Tell her she can't have a vagina
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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