I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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