; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
