The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
