Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
What a dumb baby whore.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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