had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I cut my penus on the lid.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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