He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
