So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she was petting her beer can
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize